Life Will Never Be The Same: Baby #2’s Birth Story

And then there were four. We’re officially now a family of four, still not quite used to saying that but it couldn’t bring a bigger smile to my face when I do. We’ve grown by one beautiful little angel who has made it hard to remember what life was like before her arrival. But, seeing as today is our newest little one’s 1 month birthday I thought it would be fitting to reveal just how she made her way into this world. 

If you’ve been following me through this pregnancy you might remember that we were hoping for a successful vbac this time around as opposed to another c-section. With all of our doctor approvals in line and a healthy 37 week ultrasound in the books it was just a waiting game to see when the big day would arrive. With lots of early labor symptoms and Braxton Hicks contractions from my 35th week on, I for one couldn’t have been more ready for our little girl to make her grand debut. All along I had a sneaking suspicion that she’d make her appearance a little early and that she did, as I went into labor around 12 am on Father’s Day, the timing couldn’t have been more fitting.

After a couple excruciating hours at home we decided to make the trip to the hospital while Nanny and Pop Pop watched our big sister to be. We were officially checked in and started painfully waiting for the big finale. Despite the contractions picking up speed and the complete and utter exhaustion, thanks to a pick me up video from an excited big sister and some welcomed company from my mom and sister I managed to make it through the day’s toughest moments with a small smile on my face. After 16 hours in labor and dilation to only 2 cm, my doctor decided we should go ahead with the epidural to help me relax and hopefully rest a bit.

What seemed like an eternity later, finally the anesthesiologist arrived and it was time for my epidural. I dreaded this part ever since our consultation a few months back but I knew with my slowly progressing labor and my venous angioma that the epidural was a must and hopefully this time it would work better than it had with my first c-section. With the epidural in, they slowly started my pain meds so they could closely watch my pressure, a must with the venous angioma, and after a little while I finally started feeling some relief. The painless moments though were short lived as there was clearly an issue with my epidural. It turns out the space between my vertebrae is smaller than normal making it tougher for the epidural to be placed well and work so the anesthesiologist pulled it out and repositioned it to hopefully get it working properly, sadly this didn’t work either. That was it, with an epidural that wasn’t working I prayed that I had made some significant progress so the end would be near. Soon after the epidural fiasco, my OB checked me again only to find I was still only 2 cm which meant it could be a very long, unmedicated road to the finish line, not ideal given my health precautions.

So after 25 hours in labor, a worn off 2nd epidural, and very little progression we had finally arrived to the c-section discussion. Honestly, my heart was broken, I knew at that point that we were headed straight to the c-section that we had fought so hard to avoid. And after a tearful and emotional discussion with my OB, who advised me that while I still could have my little girl vaginally it would be a long and unmedicated road until that moment may arrive, there were no more questions in my mind, I knew that the c-section was the right choice, I was ready to meet our little one without anymore delay. And that was it, c-section time, that is after one more obstacle. 

Since I had so many problems with the epidural my anesthesiologist informed me that he wanted to put me under general anesthesia, two words that literally sent me into a full blown emotional breakdown. I always knew that general anesthesia was a possibility if there was an emergency and it was needed but we weren’t there. Both me and my baby were doing well and despite the epidural not working I knew that the spinal was next up on the agenda and the thought of being put to sleep, missing her first cry, holding her skin to skin, and sharing those first moments of her life together was just out of the question. With our plan being thrown out the window so quickly I just started panicking, pleading with my husband to remind everyone of our consultation a few months back. While I was a tearful mess only repeating that I refused to have my baby that way, my husband stepped up trying to communicate our plan with everyone finally convincing the anesthesiologist to do the spinal for our c-section. And with that we were added to the schedule for a 4 am c-section, a long 3 hours away.   

Those last few hours of contractions and no sleep were excruciating mostly because I was so nervous and anxious to see our baby girl. But thankfully while our biggest baby girl, who I now hadn’t seen for over 24 hours was being watched by my sister, my parents were both by our side while we endured the last leg of the waiting game we had been playing for so long. Even though it was four weeks ago already, those last few hours of being pregnant seem so fresh in my mind. I remember just laying there, overwhelmed with physical and emotional pain from the events of the day before along with so much anxiety for the hours to come, and then all of the sudden I felt my little girl give the biggest kicks. Just for a moment I found peace, rubbing my belly for the last time and feeling my baby girl happy and safe inside, my little one reminded me that we were in this together.

After a lengthy wait it was finally surgery time, we said goodbye to my parents and I quickly found myself alone in the operating room hunched over and getting my spinal, praying constantly that it would work and that I wouldn’t miss a second of my baby being born. Thankfully I was numbed up in no time, covered in sterile drapes and warm blankets to help with my uncontrollable shaking (thanks to the freezing operating room and meds), and ready to have my husband back by my side. Soon enough I heard his voice next to my head reminding me that this was it, the moment we waited so long for and that our precious baby girl would be here any second. It was a long road and we were finally there staring at the finish line, about to meet the little girl that stole our hearts months before when she was just a little jellybean in my belly. 

Minutes later and I finally heard the most perfect sound to a mother’s ears, that beautiful, healthy cry that I waited so long for. As they pulled down the drape and showed me my newest angel tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t help but start balling, my heart was just aching to hold her and kiss her for the very first time. For the first time in 9 months we were apart so as soon as he could Dan went over to be with her while I patiently waited, listening to each and every cry as the nurses thoroughly checked my baby over. What seemed like an eternity later and I finally caught my first up close glimpse of my precious baby. After some rearranging, the nurses set her on me for the skin to skin time that I had wanted so badly but was worried I wouldn’t have with the c-section. Feeling her breathe on top of me, feeling her skin against mine, and kissing every bit of her face I could reach, I just counted down the minutes until my arms were free to hug her the way I wanted. 

Finally the moment I had been waiting for for so long was here, I was wheeled to recovery and finally able to wrap both of my arms around my brand new baby girl. The nurses left us while we enjoyed our new little one and took every bit of her in. She looked just like her big sister with dark hair and chubby cheeks and I couldn’t help but feel anxious for our girls to meet for the first time. Until then though we enjoyed our alone time, watching our baby get her footprints done, her first bath, just all of the moments that I missed a few short years ago when we were in the same place with her big sister. I realized then just how lucky we were this time around and even though the birth hadn’t gone exactly how we had hoped it would it was still just as beautiful and peaceful as I had prayed that it would be. Without any of the worry and fear like in our first c-section I was able to have all of those special moments that we had dreamed of from Dan cutting the cord to me being able to do skin to skin as soon as I could and most importantly some very special alone time so we could get to know our beautiful brand new baby girl. They were moments that I’ll never forget and I’m so grateful that we were able to have. 

After such an eventful 24 hours, we spent some much needed relaxing time in the recovery with our baby girl and were finally ready to be moved to our room. Once we were settled in, my parents brought up a very excited big sister and left us to share some of the most special moments I’ll never forget. As my big girl marched in with her curly pigtails, Big Sis t-shirt, and the biggest smile, I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms again, seeing as this was the longest we’d ever been apart. I managed to squeeze in a few kisses and hugs but a little someone couldn’t take her eyes off of the brand new baby in the room. She patted her belly, touched her hair, and kissed her baby sister over and over, bringing tears to this new Mommy and Daddy’s eyes. And then she told her new sister Happy Birthday and that she loved her which sent both of us over the edge. In that moment we realized that we’d given both of them the greatest gift, each other. They’ll always have each other to love and enjoy no matter where life will take them and I hope that they’ll always share a bond as special as the one I saw forming in their first few minutes together.

One of the major downsides of the c-section was being in the hospital longer and away from a special little someone, but thankfully she was in good hands with her Nanny and Pop Pop who made sure she had lots of fun with her cousins, tons of pampering, and plenty of phone calls and visits with Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Sister. I think the separation was a bit harder on me seeing as I’d never been away from our little one but knowing that she was well taken care of and loved exactly how I would love her made me feel so much better, along with the pictures and videos that they sent along. Thankfully, after some requests we were discharged a day early so I could rest and heal at home with my entire family around me. 

As we celebrate our littlest baby girl’s 1 month birthday it’s hard to believe that all of these moments were so long ago already. Everyone tells you when you have kids that the time flies by but it’s so true and you realize just how quickly it does when you yourself have children. I cannot believe that my first baby girl is 2 1/2 years old already and is herself a big sister, a fantastic one at that. It’s been the greatest joy to watch my girls grow, my only wish is that they would just slow down a little. But no matter how much older they get I’ll always remember each of their births, clear as the day that they happened. Each one so different but both filled with plenty of worry and fear, tears and excitement, and love. I look forward to one day telling them both how they entered this world and I hope that they too will both experience these miracles for themselves and all of the love that they add to life.

So to my beautiful and loving biggest baby girl, you’ve been a blessing since day 1, sharing your love with everyone around you and making us the luckiest parents in the world. I’m so excited to watch you take your sister lovingly under your wing and show her the world. 

And to our littlest baby girl, you remind us in so many ways of your big sister but in so many others you are certainly your own person. We love every bit of you and cannot wait to experience all of your firsts. I love you my little one, thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy. 

To both of my girls, no matter how old you are Mommy will always look at you as my baby girls, the ones who lived in Mommy’s belly for so long listening to my heart and kicking me from the inside. God blessed me with two little miracles that I love more than life itself and I’m so lucky to call you my daughters.  

Sincerely,

Lindsay