We’re finally in the home stretch! We’ve turned the corner and we’re nestled snugly into our third trimester with tons of excitement but just as much nerves. In about a month and a half we’ll finally get to meet this little person that’s been playing soccer in my belly all of these months. Our little girl will finally become the long awaited big sister that she’s probably grown quite curious about. And we as a family will finally become a family of four (plus one furry little girl). So much change is coming and while we’ve spent months dreaming, planning, and anticipating that moment, the nerves that go along with the big finale seem to grow as my weeks do.
Let me clarify, of course I’m nervous about her actual delivery which is a whole other post by itself, but what we’re most nervous about is finally becoming the family of four that we’ve wanted for so long. Adding more babies to the mix is always nerve-wracking for so many reasons, whether it’s the first, second, or fifth, a new life is coming your way in the form of a new baby and a new family will take shape. Ever since before Dan and I were married we talked about having a family, I of course was up for four or five babies, my dream large family, and Dan was stuck around the 2 or 3 range, but either way there was no doubt that we wanted babies down the road. Once we were married we took our time, went on some adventures, traveled, and created some memories with our fur baby, really enjoying our new time as a married couple and building an even stronger us before babies came into the picture. Finally as we approached our two year anniversary we knew it was time to start growing our family and God blessed us with our first little girl.
Even though we were excited that we were expecting our first baby and that we’d finally start the family we’d always wanted we were nervous beyond belief just like all first time parents are. And now we find ourselves in an all too familiar spot as we did about three years ago, feeling incredibly excited with a mix of nervous but for completely different reasons than before. We have the tune of parenting down pretty well now and we know what to expect on that end, at least until 2 1/2 years old, but what we’re most nervous about this time around is the transition from the three of us to the four of us and I don’t mean the logistics of it all. I’m not at all nervous about juggling two kids instead of one but I guess what I’m most excited but yet most nervous about is the actual act of becoming four instead of three.
We’re so excited to love another little baby and give that gift to our little girl but whenever you make that humongous decision to grow your family from one to two and beyond I think it’s natural to worry if you’ll be able to spread yourself out enough for all of them equally. My heart is certainly large enough to love two children and beyond, no doubt there, but there’s so much to raising your children than just loving them. Coming into this marriage as the third of three children and my husband as the second of two children we’re well aware of what it’s like to have some older siblings come before us, the pros and the cons. I always worry that Baby #2 will feel like they didn’t get their special time with Mommy and Daddy or that everything always was split between her and her sister.
Having siblings is tough and can be really challenging at times but it can be one of the biggest blessings in the world and that’s what our wish is for our girls. My hope for my girls is that Dan and I do the best job that we can do as their parents, always making sure that they feel special in their own way, that they have their own individual lives filled with their own personalities and likes and dislikes, and that they always turn to us and to each other for love and support just as we intended from each of their births on.
We’re so in love with both of our girls already and are just basking in the glow of the impending birth, becoming a family of four has been everything I’ve dreamed about for months and it’s almost upon us. I hope my big girl falls just as much in love with her sister when she sees herself as we have since we found about her. I hope our furry little girl loves her just as much as she loves her bigger sister. Most importantly I know that our family will continue to grow our love just as we do everyday, never letting one day pass without realizing just how blessed we are to have each other.
No matter how nervous I am about the big delivery day or recovery after or making sure both of my girls feel Mommy’s love equally, those nerves will never overwhelm the tremendous amount of excitement that mounts every single day that passes. I truly cannot wait to see this little one, feel her in my arms, kiss and hug her for the first time and hundreds beyond, and my favorite of all, hold her close to my heart where she’ll never leave and we’ll forever share that special bond like I have with her sister. In just a matter of a few single digit weeks our littlest girl could make her debut, but until then I’ll keep dreaming about her!
Sincerely,
Lindsay (33 weeks)